Rants and Rambles

Why not have purging urges when you can have purging urges, though??

Urges to purge. What else is new. 9:19 AM and I'm sitting in the living room as my boyfriend sleeps. Feeling guilty. Didn't binge but had to eat more due to that pesky inability to sleep (or let's be real - it's a goddamn inability to function, even if you're still "productive" with the disorders...let's… Continue reading Why not have purging urges when you can have purging urges, though??

Dark Side, Rants and Rambles

Up All Night

Hi buds. I haven't written in awhile, so thanks for standing by. It's 1:44 AM here, and I can't help but be reminded of my first post I wrote here about 5 years ago, when I was 18. It was about the urge to cut, and how I couldn't sleep. Even though I don't feel… Continue reading Up All Night

Rants and Rambles

Uterus, PLEASE

I would like to just cry and cry and cry. My weight is up and I’m silly for weighing myself, especially as my period is due soon. And it’s doubly foolish because I get so anxious about my period already as I never actually bleed anymore, but still get all the symptoms of PMS (#birthcontrol… Continue reading Uterus, PLEASE

Rants and Rambles

Remnants and The Rubble

"Do you miss him?" They ask, and you fight the urge not to squint your eyes judgementally at them in disbelief. Naturally, it fails. Cute. "Yes," I reluctantly admit, feeling suddenly sad and nostalgic, like when autumn rushes into winter, a marathon you wish it would never complete. "Yes, I do. We dated for two… Continue reading Remnants and The Rubble


What the FUCK is life, though?

Hello, friends! First off, I just wanted to apologize for my absence. I truly was unsure of what to say. I've been getting a lot of anxiety recently about writing, which coincides with my OCD (classy, I know), but obvi, gotta fight it! I've still been writing, don't worry (if anyone was, lawl), but it's… Continue reading What the FUCK is life, though?

Dark Side

May you never know

I don't know what to say. That's not the way to start a blog entry, but I'm going for it anyways, even though I can literally hear my middle school English teacher screaming at me from states away to make a better introductory sentence. But here I am, yours truly, Saturday night in the city summer,… Continue reading May you never know

Rants and Rambles

Hold your goddamn horses

They say eat normally, and that's cool and all, but like, what IS eating normally? Seriously. The hell? This is not a ground-breaking post or question. I know that a lot of people, especially those who are in eating disorder recovery/have struggled/are currently struggling with an eating disorder, ask themselves this a lot. And clearly,… Continue reading Hold your goddamn horses